not all about you

You are special.
You are beautiful.
You are wonderful.
You are smart.
You are worth it.

Are any of those statements familiar? Yes, of course. Society throws them at us every day. They are supposed to 'boost our self-esteem'. Make us feel good about ourselves. And I'm not saying that is necessary a bad thing.

But really, when did we get to the point where society needed to tell us we are beautiful & worth it? The Bible tells us that. Isn't it enough? When did we get so caught up in ourselves? So worried about how pretty we are & how smart & how special?

Maybe it's time to look around more. It's not all about how we feel. Maybe instead of entertaining ourselves all the time, we should look for more opportunities to entertain/serve others. Maybe we shouldn't let our moods guide our actions so much.

Our feelings are not at the center of the universe. Maybe it's time we stop acting like they are.



  1. This is seriously one of the best blog posts I've ever read. It may just be my favorite EVER.. SO good. Convicting. And just what I needed to hear. Thank you!!


  2. "But really, when did we get to the point where society needed to tell us we are beautiful & worth it? The Bible tells us that. Isn't it enough"

    Nailed it, girl. So true.

  3. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. So blessed. Thank you so much.

  4. I love you for saying this. It needs to be said.
    Besides, as Christians, we find our identity in Christ. our beauty is because of Him, his character, his sacrifice.

    "Our feelings are not at the center of the universe. Maybe it's time we stop acting like they are."
    Thanks Eve!

  5. This really made me think. I can't find the words to say what I've been going through the past few weeks on the whole idea of worth and beauty, but this was exactly what I needed. Thank you so, so much for writing and sharing this. You don't know how grateful I am.

  6. so so so good, Eve. i've been thinking so much about this lately. :) thank you for reminding us. x

  7. Thank you for reminding me that it is not all about myself and that we shouldn't wait for people to say these things about us. Instead, we should go out there and do things that will actually make those comments true. {If this makes any sense...}


  8. But really, the statements society REALLY throws at us - at girls - is that we're NOT special, or perfect. That we're FAR from it. What society tells us is that we need to be stick-thin to be considered acceptable, that looks are what matter, that as girls we have to love to play with pink dolls and girly things instead of using our brains and (for example) playing around with building things. Society tells us all we are are sexy bodies for the pervy guys to gawk at, to honk at on the street as you walk by, to look up and down like we're a piece of meat. Or have you never experienced that? Few girls haven't, past a certain age.
    Those messages - that you're special, and you're worth it, and you're beautiful - they're few and far between, and they're amazing. Low self-esteem is terrible, and so, so many girls suffer from it; it's not their fault, it's not because they do or don't believe in God, it's because of the messages that society sends them. And these sorts of messages, praising them, they can change the world. You can be having the absolute crappiest day, and then one person will tell you: you look beautiful today. Or, you're so intelligent. And honestly? Your day will get SO much brighter.
    Is it right to focus solely on our feelings and mope around in self-despair (or alternatively self-love)? No, obviously not. And yes, volunteering and service is really important as well, even in raising self-esteem. But sending positive messages, especially to girls, is so, so important.
    But honestly, I feel just about everyone could use some more positive messages in their life, especially when you consider the negative messages from society we practically grow up with.
    Not trying to start a fight; I just see this all the time. I know so many girls who are anorexic, or have bulimia, or just are really down on themselves because of the negative messages society sends about women and our bodies. Low self esteem is actually a really serious issue; I know from personal experience.
    I do hope y'all don't take this the wrong way, or something. :)

    1. And sorry for the huge essay ;)

    2. Kinga, I agree with you. However, this isn't where I was going with this. I know society throws plenty of those kinds of things at us as well, & in some cases, that can really be destructive (especially if a person is not strong & secure in their faith, & no that's nothing to be ashamed of; we all grow & we all need encouragement). And I wasn't saying that complementing someone is necessarily a bad thing. FAR from it actually. I think complements are amazing!
      I was simply implying that because our society is so centered around the self, sometimes we get told that we are smart, special, & worth it up to the point where we 'puff up'. We start thinking (maybe even subconsciously) that we should always do whatever feels good & benefits us. We act as if the universe resolves around us & our feelings, so to speak. And that is a lie & completely not true. Not everything is all about us. We have to take others into account as well.
      So, yes, I totally get where you are going. I agree with you, but it's just good to keep in mind that there are two sides to this. And I'm not in any way offended. I'm glad to clear this up a bit (I hope what I said made sense!) & explain my exact point. :)

    3. so basically i agree with both of y'all, and i'm throwing my two cents in by saying that society constantly contradicts itself. one minute, they're talking about the newest and best diets so you can fit in such-and-such bikini, and the next they're putting up posters saying "you're perfect the way you are! you're beautiful! don't change a thing about you." so i think in the end, girls (and boys, we can't exclude them) don't know how to respond. we don't know which one to believe. and since, like kinga said, the encouraging words from society are so few and far between, we tend to lean towards the dissatisfaction with ourselves and then comes the self-loathing and hatred and things like that. it's nice that society occasionally has good things to say defending females, but good grief, they keep mixing the message! and it's tearing us apart! and in the end, it's not the same to SEE the words 'you're beautiful,' than to hear someone say them. BELIEVE me, it means so much more when someone actually says it, out loud, to your face. i went dress shopping for my music concert this afternoon. i felt horribly unattractive, horribly overweight. and then i remember what one of my classmates said to me. several, actually. "hey, cutie." "awe! you look so nice!" "you're adorable, jocee." "you're sooooo sweet!" (in a very modern jane bennet way, of course.) and that made me feel so much better. it's sad, though, that these words of kindness become, in a way, outdated to us. that we constantly find a reason to hate ourselves and find reasons for others to do the same thing. we constantly strive to be affirmed by others, when i think sometimes, when it comes to written affirmations, we need to put the magazine down and affirm ourselves, whether we feel like it or not.

      if that makes any sense. anyway, just my two cents. or rather five dollar bill. :)

      great point, ladies! SO proud of you for posting this, eve. <3

    4. Thanks for posting that, Jocee! So true.
      Thanks! <3 And for the record, you're one of the prettiest people I know. Love you! :) <3

  9. <3 <3 <3 this Eve!
    and Kinga, I totally understand what you're trying to get at :) Both Eve and you have very important viewpoints on this difficult matter. Thanks for your insight...I think both sides make sense together (hope that doesn't make it anymore confusing) :)


  10. YES.


    oh my goodness, YES.

    Thank you so much for this wonderful, simple and well-put reminder.


  11. i'm going to ditto with joc and acacia. just... amen, eve.

  12. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you soo much for this, Eve!

  13. I think that this turned into a girls talk, hahaha, but I just wanna say: You're totally right!! Nice post :)

  14. YEEESSSS. Omigoodness, just posted something that goes sortakindamaybe along the lines of this. Maybe some parts against or with you?

  15. Amen, pretty lady!!! This is SO amazing. Thanks for the amazing reminder.