poetry

AN APOLOGY
I once said, “I will grow up and never sleep
I will leave vegetables on my plate
I’ll have ice cream and cookies everyday
I will swim in the lake before it’s warm

I will wear my pajamas all day long
I will not brush my teeth in the morning
I will own a farm and a thousand horses
I will wear the same shirt for six days straight.”

But, youngster, growing up isn’t what you think
Your eyes will droop and you’ll sleep anyway
You eat the vegetables and avoid the sugar
(they said it’ll make your body ugly)

The lake water is full of dirt and grime
You have to dress nice so they’ll all love you
Your breath must be fresh, so they don’t hate you
(even you will learn to despise sugar-coated teeth)

You stopped loving horses and long for the city
And the stench of an old shirt’ll make you cringe.
Dear youngster, I’m sorry being older isn’t perfect.
Things are different than you thought they would be.




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Hey, remember me? it's Megan Kristine, back as an AOU author. I'm so very excited to be back writing with fab team here. I love this blog and it's mission and WOW! you are all so amazing. See you next friday. -M

breaking out because i want to

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i don't normally write posts like this but i feel the need to speak my heart on something that's been troubling me lately.

i'm tired of blogging. don't worry, i'm not leaving AOU or taking a break or anything. but honestly, truly, i'm tired of blogging. why? because i feel like it's become so cliche and mundane and almost a joke. (and this is all about my own personal blogging habits.) i've fallen into this river of doubt where i think i have to meet everyone's expectations and tastes and if i don't, i've failed. failed as a writer, a stylist, a photographer, a thinker...i've failed. it's an awful feeling. it's crushing.

i'm not here to proclaim my insistence for a revolution. but i am saying this: i want to break out of this box of mundane so badly, i think i'm going to explode if i don't. i'm drowning in this sea because i'm fighting the current. i need to just swim to shore and get out of this water altogether. so, here's my new intention for my life in blogging:

i'm going to break out of the box because i want to. not because i think it will please my followers. not because it will grab the attention of readers around the world. but because i want to. simple as that. i want to do what i want, what i feel led to do, simply because i want to. maybe all this is just some silly rambling that i tend to produce on common occasion. but it's real to me; this feeling of inadequacy is real and it's tearing me down. so here's to me breaking out. excuse any random fluctuations in my style and habits, that's just me finding my place in life.

xoxo,
candace

perfection

I am a perfectionist. I have been a perfectionist for a long, long time. I like my room to be spotless & clean, the pillows on my bed to be fluffed 'just so,' and the books on my shelf to be arranged according to height & author. Every time I walk past a front yard dotted with giant dandelions I get a sudden urge to go grab some gardening gloves. I have had germophobia ever since I read a science book when I was seven & I wash my hands all the time. I cannot imagine life without my daily planner at hand.

But here's the thing... I get frustrated sometimes. I get frustrated because sometimes things don't go according to plan. MY plan. Sometimes I focus too much on doing things perfectly & 'just so.' But life isn't like that. Sometimes getting dirty is not a choice. No matter how much I plan, something unexpected will always pop up.

The spontaneous things in life, I believe those are God's way of saying, "Hey, you're not in charge. You're not the one planning out your life. I am. Just trust me." Sometimes we get too caught up in ourselves that we forget who it is that's really in charge. We need to remember that God holds the reins, not us. That's not to say that we should just sit around because "Well, we're not in charge anyways so we'll just let our lives unfold & if God wants something to happen He can make it happen by Himself." Ummm... no. That's actually called laziness. We still need to work hard & do our very best at everything. BUT we need to remember that we can't achieve perfection. Not in this life.

We need to embrace the spontaneous & the dirty & the trials & the pain. God sent them for a reason. To shape, to teach, & to grow us so we can become who He made us to be.

Don't ever forgot that, okay?
hugs, eve

miss me

i'm going to be taking a little break from blogging altogether (on my own blog as well) for a little while, well -- for about a month. i'll be back on the third of june though. don't forget me. i'll be back. let's make sure to start of summer great in my absence!

xx,
bleah

untitled.

so, um, hi there. 
i like you. a lot.
i never saw it coming, though, this attraction to you. 
when we met so many months ago,
you were just a stranger to me.
but then, every time i saw your face 
and talked to you, you grew on me. 
somehow you weaved your way 
into my young mind and 
twisted yourself around my heart.
i'm comfortable around you. i'm not afraid
to be silly in front of you, which is
strange and very rare for me. i don't even understand 
why i like you. sure, you are kind, funny, smart, and witty.
but, i guess, i... i just don't know.
g.

silence

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i just need silence right now...Lord, please help me think clearly...