18.3.13

i've fallen for your eyes but they don't know me yet

©
sometimes, when bad things happen, we fall into this ditch of confusion and heartbreak. we don't know what happened or why; we can't conclude if it was our fault or theirs; and we surely are at a loss as to how we can fix things. and once we think we've figured it all out, we realize we're not even close. again and again we go through the painful process of turning the events over in our minds, hoping to see a little light tucked in there to make us feel better; but there isn't one. and we get this drop in our stomachs and a sick feeling that all hope of remedying the situation is lost...and so we give up. we stop trying. we extinguish the little beam of hope inside our hearts.

then all of a sudden, for some odd, unknown reason, it gets better. once again, you start catching them looking at you from across the room. again, they go out of their way to sit by you, to speak to you, to make you laugh and smile. they once again get that beautiful look in their eyes when they're near you. they start to look at you with wonder and awe again. when you laugh, that obnoxious, loud laugh of yours, they just gaze at you with admiration and hold back a giant smile.

but you cant say anything. or, you feel like you can't say anything because you don't want to ruin it. but some days, those days when you feel their eyes burning into your neck...you turn and take in the look on their face, hoping to read their heart, praying that you'll see the wonderment that was there before all the bad stuff happened...you just want to grasp their face in both of your hands and kiss the past away.

xoxo,
candace

11 comments:

  1. I'm honestly tearing up right now. You couldn't have said this better and I'm just sitting reading the words slowly over and over. I just...don't know what to say except that this is just so very beautiful in its own way.
    ~gloria {lia}
    www.gloria-theblog.blogspot.com

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  2. i can't put my thoughts into words.

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  3. dang this is so incredibly accurate.

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  4. Ohmyword, this. THIS. you literally described my last two months. completely.
    your writing is AMAZING!

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  5. this is us.
    except, you know. he doesn't like me back.
    and we've never had any major disagreements/fights.
    but this is how i feel when we see each other and we don't know when we're going to see each other.
    he sees me, makes eye contact, waves or says hello, and if my feet cannot fathom steps he comes to me, gives me a hug, asks me how i'm doing, tells me he's glad to see me, says i look nice, etc. and there are so many flutterings in my stomach that i cannot fathom into butterflies or stardust. i just.
    oh good Lord, candace.
    you just broke my fangirl.
    i mean, srsly.
    love you, and this.

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  6. I am officially speechless.

    Those three paragraphs just go together so well and...*hand motions* It's just one big post of sweetness and it's not even the mushy kind it's so cute and I just love this post so much...I love this post so much that you made me write a run-on sentence.

    Love,
    ~Jenny

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  7. AODLKDLA. OH gosh, my heart.

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  8. Story of my life.
    Thanks for this, so good!

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  9. thisistrue. at least I hope it's true, that it all passes away someday and things can go back to how they were. aahhhh the ambiguity of the internet, but for real. I'm getting heart palpitations. hoo boy. okay I'm done now.

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