i am alive

life gets so tangled sometimes. my emotions get so complicated that writing them down is utterly impossible. I get so depressed and lonely.
sometimes I try to prove that I've got it all together. but the truth - I most definitely, a hundred percent, for real, don't have it all together.
sometimes I just have to breath. let life find it's way through the darkness it's in. it seems impossible at times. but I have to trust in God.
ya know, I think that's something we here at ordinary utopia strive to foster. sure, life is lovely. it's wonderful and breathtaking and amazing. but it's also hard and terrifying and confusing.
but that part - that hard and painful part - that's what makes the wonderful parts so.. well, wonderful.

i hear birds tweet, i am alive
piano keys pass beneath my fingers, i am alive
i lay awake, i am alive
i breath, i am alive
i close my eyes, i am alive
i celebrate, because i am alive


  1. This is wonderful, that picture and those words are lovely x :)

  2. this is so nice to read. i've been struggling with the same things lately. this just wonderful to know i'm not alone.

  3. This describes what I'm going thru perfectly. Amen.

  4. if yeses could fill up this comment box that's what i would do. LOVE.

  5. wow, this is so... real. thankyou, abby!

  6. love this, Abby. just beautiful, girl. xx