breaking out because i want to


i don't normally write posts like this but i feel the need to speak my heart on something that's been troubling me lately.

i'm tired of blogging. don't worry, i'm not leaving AOU or taking a break or anything. but honestly, truly, i'm tired of blogging. why? because i feel like it's become so cliche and mundane and almost a joke. (and this is all about my own personal blogging habits.) i've fallen into this river of doubt where i think i have to meet everyone's expectations and tastes and if i don't, i've failed. failed as a writer, a stylist, a photographer, a thinker...i've failed. it's an awful feeling. it's crushing.

i'm not here to proclaim my insistence for a revolution. but i am saying this: i want to break out of this box of mundane so badly, i think i'm going to explode if i don't. i'm drowning in this sea because i'm fighting the current. i need to just swim to shore and get out of this water altogether. so, here's my new intention for my life in blogging:

i'm going to break out of the box because i want to. not because i think it will please my followers. not because it will grab the attention of readers around the world. but because i want to. simple as that. i want to do what i want, what i feel led to do, simply because i want to. maybe all this is just some silly rambling that i tend to produce on common occasion. but it's real to me; this feeling of inadequacy is real and it's tearing me down. so here's to me breaking out. excuse any random fluctuations in my style and habits, that's just me finding my place in life.



  1. this is great. very truthful and persuasive. one question, though: what do you mean "mundane"?

    1. i feel as if the words i write are raw and honest but unexciting and common. they're nothing tremendously special or original. they're impacting and powerful, but they aren't anything unseen before. granted, there's really nothing new under the sun. but i think it's all about the motive behind what's done/said/written...and my motives have been mainly focused on pleasing other people.

      i guess basically i mean "mundane" as in prosaic and boring and evasive of the talent i know i have inside.

    2. AHA. okay. that's a brilliant way to put it. i understand. i stopped pleasing people a longggggg time ago.

  2. I totally understand how you feel and I am proud of you for breaking out! :)

    Keep it up!


  3. this is lovely, thank you for this.

  4. i've been feeling the same way lately and have grown tired of the blogger expectations, I want to be different. i am different inside, so what i write should be different.
    such a good post!

    much love
    -anna faith

  5. thanks!! it was refreshing!!!
    an inspiration for me as well.
    I feel like I'm trapped in this "box" as
    well. And its tearing me down too.
    Love your picture!!

  6. The thoughts in my mind come to life through your words. Because I've grown tired of living in a box too, and freedom (from blogging and it's cliches and mundanity) is the only thing I want and need.

    PS. That photo had me at hello.
    PPS. You are wonderful, just saying.

  7. Yes, yes and yes. I can empathize with you here.

  8. I think I get what you're saying. I feel that all bloggers have felt this way before, whether we realize it or not.


    (by the way, i'm going to use that photo in one of my posts, is that okay? i'll source it to the original source and all.)

  9. Yes. I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and how that's going to show in my blogging. Here's hoping that we can all break out of our blogger boxes!
    Also, that picture is awesome.